One of those difficult decisions

One of the dilemmas many mums agonise over is when to return to paid work. I have been lucky enough to get a few months paid maternity leave with both my boys and the time is rapidly approaching when I told my boss that I would return to work a couple of days a week. Late last week my childcare centre notified me a place was coming up in the baby room for Bub if I would like to take it.

Oh the agony and the ecstasy. I love being at home with my little ones and seeing them grow and develop every day but I must say it is exhausting! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially as both my boys are erratic sleepers so I'm usually functioning on very little sleep which does make for a very grumpy mummy sometimes. Anyway, my point is it is hard work 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

The other part of the equation for me is that prior to having children work was something I very much enjoyed and something I still do although it has taken a much less prominent roll in my life for the last few years. Anyway, a childcare place means that very soon I will be toddling of to work a day and a half each week and leaving my little baby in someone else's care.

All the worries and concerns I had last time I made this decision are coming back again. Even though I know that my children are in fantastic hands, (I'm very happy with our day care and I'm actively involved in their management committee so I know the excellent work they do) it is still a big step to leave my baby with someone else.

To date the longest I have been away from him is two or three hours at a time and generally while he is asleep. The only other person who has cared for him is his Dad. But soon it will be his turn as well. I just hope it all goes smoothly and that I don't feel too guilty about enjoying exercising my mind on something other than parenting for a few hours each week.

We took a little visit to the baby room at day care earlier today and Bub seemed very happy, smiling at all the carers and trying desperately hard to impress them with his attempts at crawling (slowly shuffling around backwards and rocking a lot). Bub is quite an easy going boy so I suspect the transition will actually be more painful for me than for him - oh they grow up so fast. I will let you know how we get on in a few weeks.